Out of boredom, I went back on Tinder; or rather the deep, dark, horrible corners of what’s left of Tinder in Venezuela.The dating pool got thinner, unlike chavista officers now borderline obese.This is what I found: 33.3 % guys who you can just tell are I matched with a handsome, heterosexual male a few days later.Turns out we both have good jobs, so we could afford to go out for dinner, drinks and a movie.Her parents left the country but she has to graduate, so we have the place to ourselves, thankfully.” A dear friend came over for dinner and told me: “My boyfriend left the country and gave me his condoms because we made a deal: While we’re apart, we get to have sex with other people. There was always a friend who lived in a street where they had security checkpoints to get in, we felt safe and just had to look out for neighbors.It breaks my heart and I haven’t done it, because I really don’t want to. I agreed because I rather offer him the liberty to do it and hope that when he does have sex, it won’t mean anything. But we’re in our 30s now, we’re too old and Caracas is too dangerous to have sex in the car.
We’d be able to choose vegan, kiwi-mango-pineapple flavored, cranberry scented, glow in the dark, ribbed for her pleasure, non-latex condoms.We’d be free to bring home as many one night stands as we wanted to, we’d switch to another pill in case of breakouts or any other crappy secondary effect, we’d be rushing to the pharmacy for plan b after accidents, we’d be on the streets protesting for legal, safe abortions for every woman who needs one, fighting any legislation that wanted to go all #Handmaids Tale on our bodies, we’d join the LGBTQ community in their fight for the right to marry the person they love, we’d be rallying up in marches for equal rights or equal pay. Caracas has the dubious distinction of being the world's most dangerous city outside of a designated war zone. Basically, your only option without compromising your safety is something upscale and expensive as hell. Not much of a bar, but they sell cheap beers and food.I gladly picked up the check several times, because I’m not #blessed nor am I #thankful; 3 million bolivars for burgers around two months ago, 5 million for sushi (sounds fancy, but it wasn’t; Bonsai Sushi ). brand a couple of weeks ago and I’ve been using those. When I was in high school and college, people could, you know, make out and stuff in cars in certain Caracas neighborhoods.Last week, we paid 6 million for two movie tickets and a popcorn-soda combo, and I paid 10 million bolivares for a pizza, four beers and a standard rum soda with a twist. It’s kinda scary, but having sex with my girlfriend is the only distraction we can afford. Everyone had a favorite spot, and you’d trade info on locations like Panini trading cards.