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Sadly, statistics and anecdotal experience both indicate that even the couples who spend time in dating relationships of any length, sin physically.The longer the relationship, the higher the percentage.When two people are dating — especially when it’s going well and two people are really into one another — the desire to spend more and more time together, to know each other better and better, to confide in each other more and more often and exclusively, is overwhelming.As your general comfort level around each other rises, that momentum grows even more. We’ll assume, per another clear principle from Scripture, that both members of our college couple are Christians.He leads us primarily by His Word, and we are to look there first and primarily for guidance about how to live and make decisions. God does not ever “call” or “lead” His people into sin, or even into folly or biblically responsible choices. Choice one is to get married anyway and work your way through. Over time, maybe you take some of the same classes, live near one another, etc.In that context, living with the desires I’ve just described, how likely do you think it is that over the course of two or three or four years — some couples date over most of their college years — you will be able to maintain enough emotional discipline and distance to avoid acting emotionally and relationally “married”?
No reasonable person would argue that physical temptation does not increase — a lot — the longer two people date who are attracted to each other and who grow to love each other.As to emotional intimacy, we live in the age of email, free long distance and unlimited any-time minutes, and cheap flights.It’s still really easy to “act married” emotionally, even in a long-distance relationship.In the meantime, the “we’re already committed” rationalization tends to make couples feel free to act in all sorts of ways they didn’t before, and every argument I’ve made in this series applies ), but that doesn’t mean that anyone who uses that language is automatically correct. Scott now lives in the Louisville, Ky., area with his wife, Rachel, and son, William, where he works as an attorney and serves as an elder of Third Avenue Baptist Church.As a quick theological aside on guidance, God does not primarily lead His people by mystic feelings in the pits of our stomachs about what He wants us to do.