What happened to dating rules from my future self
asked me, on my 60th birthday, to be part of a generational dating swap, I was genuinely excited.
In the two years since I ended a 21-year relationship, I had not even dipped a toe into the dating game – online or off. To step into the dating shoes of a millennial, using only my phone to meet and date as many men as possible within two weeks.
Like real life, dating apps come with their own social etiquette, or lack thereof. This is man or woman hunting at a serious level, with no rules or guidelines.
With no face-to-face contact before a date, and no friends in common, it is so much easier to ignore the usual mores of society.
Nonetheless, Bumble provided me with many more men over the coming days.
I got braver, swiped right more than I had done to begin with, had over 50 likes and an age range that spanned from 42 to 62 (when I pointed out to one 42 year old that I was 60, his reply was, “So? On Tinder, I only managed a few messages with someone that came to nothing; Happn didn’t happen (do any men in west London use it?
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I saw he had his own business website, which helpfully listed his mobile number. He answered and, over the next hour, we talked as though the intervening years had never happened.When we met at my favourite restaurant (that he picked) a few days later, he looked even more distinguished than when we first met.A quick dinner turned into four and a half hours, and at the time of writing, we have arranged our next dinner date.If dating sometimes seemed hard then, it certainly never occurred to me that I would find myself in a similar – but simultaneously very different – situation later in life.Fast forward to today and, once again, I am single, and the process of finding a new partner is both daunting and baffling.